“Well, there are several areas of this initiative to apply statistics which may be done away with because it does not really make any sense,” the Statistician says bravely. “For example, most of the projects measure schedule and effort deviation …”
“Yes, of course. Schedule, Effort and Defect are the fundamental measures …,” the Priestess hastens to say.
“Yes, I know, but Schedule is mostly dictated by the client. Effort is important because it is linked to cost, and I have not seen the company worry unnecessarily if the employees spend sixteen hours or twenty four hours in office as long as they get the work done in time and log eight hours in their time sheets. Again, time sheet data, filled in every fortnight, hardly reflects the actual things that the people do.”
Priestess looks haughtily at the young man blabbering away in front of her. How does one do business with these types?
“So, you mean that we should not measure schedule and effort at all?”
The Statistician sighs.
“It hardly makes sense. Serves no purpose.”
“They are the easiest things to measure,” offers the Junior Priest, speaking for the first time, but a piercing glance from the Priestess shuts him up for good.
“You see, we cannot go and tell the CMMi assessors that effort and schedule measurements don’t make sense. They will take the certification away. We have launched several initiatives for ensring Data Quality. We have already had many rounds of Quality Inspection of Data. Didn't we just have the 77th round of QIDding?”
“Oh yes, I have seen them …,” the Statistician answers. “What you check there is whether there is data in the online tools for data capture. There is no way that it ensures Data Quality. People just have to go ahead and fill the tools to avoid non-compliances. The fact remains that most of the data captured are meaningless and offers no value to the project or to the business.”
The Priestess smiles in spite of her growing irritation.
“You are wrong there. It definitely adds value to business. We showcase this to our Assessment Team Members and clients and gain accolades. That’s good for business.”
The Statistician is puzzled. He looks at the Priestess to detect a glint of mischievousness in her eyes, but he may as well look for action in a Merchant Ivory production. Helpless, he turns towards the Junior Priest.
“Well, you see,” the Junior Priest hastens to explain. “The Assessment Team Members are not Statisticians and neither are the clients. So …”
“In that case you have perfected a self satisfying system,” the Statistician remarks. “Why bother about asking me?”
“You are for showcasing too,” the Junior Priest explains. “When the Assessment Team sees our statistical initiatives reviewed by a genuine statistician …”
“We want to add value to the process and projects and that is why you are here,” the High Priestess says in a loud and steely voice, with a penetrating look at the Junior Priest which chills him to the marrow. “We want improvement suggestions. Is there anything that you can suggest for us to improve the measurement process?”
Her tone implies that the Statistician has not made any suggestion of note as yet. This gets on his nerves.
“One would be to measure skill level. Most of the work is being done by freshmen recruited from college … some being colleges of dubious reputation. I’d definitely advice for coming up with a Metric for comparing the Desired Skill Level against the Available Skill Level in different projects. This can be a useful Metric for Risk prediction …”
The Junior Priest thinks this is a bright idea, but hesitates to note the reaction of High Priestess. He fears the worst for himself.
“Doesn’t the CMMi advice us against measuring people?” she asks.
“Well, strictly speaking you are measuring the project’s skill attribute, not the individual.”
The Priestess considers this.
“Okay,” she turns to the Junior Priest. “Make a quantitiative template for this. Mail it across to Project Leads and get the data. We need to launch a weekly audit of .... let's say .... Measurement Observed for Levels of Essential Skill and Training …” She consults the calendar. “… Let us target July as the month for completion of the 50th MOLEST Audit. Get on to it. And each mail announcing the MOLEST Audit should have the number of the audit in red and bold.”
She turns to the Statistician with a half smile touching her lips now, as Junior Priest sinks lower in the chair and in self esteem. “That should be useful. What else?” Get on to it. And each mail announcing the Skill Quality Audit should have the number of the audit in red and bold.” She turns to the Statistician with a half smile touching her lips now, as Junior Priest sinks lower in the chair and in self esteem. “That should be useful. What else?”
The Statistician looks at the Junior Priest and his expression. He recounts the number of hapless PLs. His demeanor undergoes a change. Compassion fills his heart. He takes up cudgels for the oppressed.
“Did you cover Lean in Six Sigma training?” he asks.
The Priestess is surprised. Six Sigma is a hallowed sphere in which she and some beings of her caliber are allowed to tread. Younger up starts can solve their online Examinations for them, but cannot wear the invisible, but prestigious, black belts. It is her domain and she cannot tolerate trespassers.
“Yes, of course,” she says haughtily, stealing a glance at the Junior Priest to ensure that he is alert to answer any poser that this unpleasant academic may throw at her.
“So, you have doubtless heard about Muda or waste …,” the Statistician continues.
“Yes, but that’s more related to the Manufacturing industry,” the Priestess responds, glancing quickly at her reportee for affirmation. However, Junior Priest is still reeling from the announcement of the 50 MOLEST Audits.
“True, this came from the manufacturing scene … from Toyota to be more specific. However, Waste Reduction benefits any industry. And Software Industry is no exception. Maybe the definitions of the Waste categories may need to undergo changes here. But, I have identified several that should go down as profoundly time and effort consuming endeavors that sum up to zero benefit in this organization, and many others …”
“Yes?” the High Priestess looks on expectantly.
“77 Quality Inspection of Data Audits, whose outcome is to list around 500 projects that have issues. The effect of these have been to make people spend uncountable person hours filling data sheets which are of no practical use.”
“That’s muda?” ask the High Priestess and the Junior Priest in chorus.
“Yes … look at the enormous number of person hours absolutely wasted in filling meaningless data to escape non-compliance. Look at the graphs generated by your own team and reports compiled that no one will read – because everyone knows it’s useless. Add to it the number of person hours spent by employees to create rules that will automatically take the mails sent with QIDding as subject to the Junk Mail Folder. And alternatively the amount of time spent by the other twenty thousand employees to see the mail pop up, curse and press Shift and Delete. Look at the man hours spent by the Middle Management trying to justify failing this senseless non-compliance to the quota of bull headed Senior Management every company is blessed with … and finally consider the number of hours spent by the employees, especially people of your group, to gather around the coffee machine, or huddling in smoking zones to cut this idea of the Audits to ribbons … Why, some of them might even have had to go out for some fresh air on receiving these mails … Some might have taken the time off to consult the Thesarus for adequate sobriquets … All these add up to waste that would make Shingo shiver in his shoes… And the process also comes under Muri – overburden and unreasonableness – outlapping takt time several times over.
“This is just one example. The entire measurement policy is littered with examples of Muda and Muri. Schedule, Effort, Defect. Control Charts. We have dealt with them. And in an environment when most of the people shout out the defects to the developers who fix them immediately, you expect documented defects with twenty seven parameters including things as irrelevant as the name, address and social security number of the person who logged the defect … Using this defect data you not only come up with control charts, but also fill in a template to predict the number of defects in upcoming projects and phases. This … well …”
“Thank you very much, that will be all,” the Priestess, with her sense of timing capitalizes on a moment that the Statistician has paused to catch his breath. The Junior Priest leaps to his feet, justifiably hopeful that the striking speech has affected the Priestess enough to reverse her decision on the 50 MOLEST Audits.
The Statistician gets up and makes a quick getaway as the phone on the desk of the High Priestess starts ringing.
“As it is my mother is down with partial paralysis,” the Junior Priest grumbles. “77 QIDding Audits ensure that I have to stay till ten each night. Now 50 MOLEST Audits would make sure I would not be able to watch her die.”
The Statistician shakes his head.
“You want your mother to live?” he asks. “The preventive action that you can take is to stop your boss from taking a day long first aid course…”
“Eh?”
“If she does, she’ll try to cure her.”
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